Random

So there are many things on my mind right now and as it gets later in the night the ability to express them all on my blog grows dimer, so I better get started.

GET OVER IT!
Lately I have been learning a lot about my own pride and fear in my heart and this has caused me to become so fearful with conflict resolution. Those who know me, may find this rather strange and ackward for my personality, but living in Mexico has made me become more passive and introvert and at time, passive-aggressive, which use to be my personal pet-peeve. Yet circumstances in my life are forcing me to deal with this growing fear and pride head on, of course through prayer and with the help of the Holy Spirit. But the Lord is making it evident to my heart that I will never grow if I don´t learn to deal with things head on, learning to fear God and not man.
I think living in a different culture can really take its toll on your self esteem, which in many ways can be good but if not checked by the Lord, can also be very damaging. In other words, I know one of the reasons the Lord brought me to Mexico was so that I would not be able to do things in my own strength, because he desires to work with those who lean upon him (that is quite beautiful actually, but can be difficult to learn), but because of that I have grown fearful of doing things, due to the fear of failure. But the real question is what am I really afraid of? And the answer is: What people will think of me. UGH and knowing that is frustrating because I know God's opinion should outweigh the opinions of others but I must be honest and say it has been difficult.

Yet I feel like this year (and I hope and pray this as well) the Lord has been teaching me to break through this, so we shall see how the progress goes, and by his grace I shall overcome in Christ Jesus.

Lunch on Wednesdays:
So every Wednesday I have been meeting with one of the woman here to study the bible together and to eat, kind of like discipleship. And not to go into much detail, since I believe it should be kept rather private, I just want to say that I love our times together. Not only is it a full afternoon filled with great food and coffee but we also have been studying 1 Samuel and looking at the life of Saul and David and how this relates to our lives has been awesome. Yet what I really appreciate, apart from the awesome bible studies and what we are learning about God, is the friendship that has been growing, because this lady is just an awesome woman of God and she is so hungry to learn more about him. Really I feel like it is a privilege to be able to lead and guide her. Ahhh I do look forward to Wednesdays but next week it will be canceled due to the internship.

RAINY SEASON!!!
Where is the rain. Right now in Cuernavaca it is usually raining non-stop but it really hasn't been raining lately which is a huge drag because without the rain it can get extremely hot. Maybe 90 degrees here and there is no big deal, but high 90s every day and through the not can becoming very difficult to bare. So I hope it starts to rain more consistently, but preferably in the night, then Cuernavaca's days and nights are like something out of a fairytale book.

WOW there were so many other things I wanted to write about but I can't think of a single one, that must mean that it's bed time. But one more comment. I'm hoping to be much more consistent with this blog, just talking about random things that have been happening to me in my life or what I have been experiencing here in Mexico but from a point of view that is not quite work oriented. And I hope that out of doing this I can return to being that very open hearted person I feel like I was at one time, just honest with what is going on in my heart and life.