So, I got another job. One of the families that go to my church took over the director positions at a christian school. At the moment it includes grades Pre-school to 8th, though they want to open up the highschool next year. Well they had wanted me to be the science teacher, chemistry and biology, and I had to say no becasue I ddidn´t have the time, but fortunately they found another teacher. Well on Monday their daughter informed me that they still needed a teacher, becasue the one they had, took another job to finish her Ph.D. in biology I believe. The idea is that this job is temporary and I´m teaching until they find a replacement. I´m not available to teach all of the hours but I will work about 3 hours every Tuesday and Thursday from 7:20 am to 10:00 am. At first I though why did I sign up for this but now I'm glad that I did. Though I will get paid about 4 us dollars an hour, I'm more excited about teaching there than I am at my current job and for many reasons.
1.) I get to practice my Spanish and increase my vocabulary, big time, becasue I will be using scientific words.
2.) It allows me to fill my excessive free-time on the weekends with something to do. This will include preparing my lesson plans for the following week and researching activities to do as well as studying how to say things in Spanish. I might possibly write out what I want to say, haha, or atleast have note cards just in case I get lose, becasue it will be difficult to improvise, especially in a different language.
3.) This will allow me to have a little bit more of extra money, not much but it's something.
4.) Most importantly it's a christian school, so I get to connect God to everything I teach and I get to use the bible in my classes. This has to be the greatest benefit, because it makes it unlike any other teaching environment. Also this is great for me, because it was the sciences that helped me to draw closer to God in some areas and to be in more of awe of his ability. So I'm praying that the Lord will use me to be a tool, so that through our classes the students can come to have a closer, deeper and more meanigful relationship with Christ.
I guess other big news is that my mom finally bought her plan ticket, so it is official that she will be here in a few weeks. Other than that things have been going great. I'm planning on trying Laura's fish recipe this weekend becasue it sounds so YUMMY!!!!!Oh yeah sorry about not posting pictures, I lost my battery charger to my camera which means I can't upload any of my photos but I hope to buy one soon, atleast by December. Then I will have tons of pictures to upload on Facebook and a few here on my blog.
9/15/2009
9/14/2009
Correction
Just wanted to make a quick correction that the guy from North Carolina is coming in October not Septemeber. Also I have had some interesting experiences of having to wash my clothes by hand, I wouldn't recommend it because it's hard and time consuming. Truly I love modern household appliances I wish I had one, more specifically a washer and dryer, life would be so much easier.
9/13/2009
Update for September.
So even though I am horrible at updating this blog I am still in the time frame of updating once a month, though my entries for August weren´t updates at all. Instead the main one was just a rant to express how I felt, which is why I deleted it becasue well I don´t want to read it.
Any whoo. August and September. I moved into my new place and it´s amazing. It has everything and includes all utilities, plus it is a 10 min walk to my job and a 30 min walk to my church, where the HOP is located. The only draw-back is that there is no internet which means I need to be in the HOP or my school to communicate with people which kind of sucks, but it also limits me from being on the computer an excessive amount of time in the evening. Yet the trade off is that there is cable, so lately I have been watching, SpongeBob and Fairy God parents in Spanish, but the Spanish name would be, Bob Esponja y Los Padrinos magicos, hahaha. Though I still have a problem with having access to a lot of movies, which I watch on the weekends. This occurs because I´m extremly bored because there is no one to hang out with, yet little by little I am trying to dedicate that time to praying and reading the bible more.
On the note of boredom....The one person I hang out with the most is currently in Bangladesh and will not be back in Mexico until Sept 28th I believe. Also I put that on my Facebook wall, so please, please be in prayer for him and the whole team that went. I think God is really going to do something powerful and amazing through them and I would love to be there, but God has me here and I know he hears my prayers. Well the idea of being bored, I am. Not really bored it´s just that my life is so humdrum or monotonous, which is teaching me to be faithful and content in the little. It´s one thing to want to dig deeper in the Lord when you are doing great, amazing and exciting things in him or your life is horrible, but to have the same consitency and faithfulness and when your life is absolutely lacking in excitement is really, really difficult and it is a test of your charachter and true desire to dig deep into God and to be faithful. So that has been the biggest challenge, not to get easily distracted and become complacent or bitter. Still I want to do something different, so I am going to start going to Mexico City once a month again because, well, the people are just more exciting and interactive out there, I feel more a part of the body then I do here and they welcome and include me a lot more. The second thing is that I am going to take cooking classes in the Centro (down town area) once a week or every other week, depending on the price. I´m going to go with my best friends mother, Gladis, who I absolutely love, she is sooo wonderful, sweet and amazing and has been so loving to me. The first class I´m going to is this Wednesday, which will be traditional Mexican food, which I really need to learn. So these should be fun and exciting activities, plus this Wed, the 16th is Indpendence day for Mexico, which means, HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to enjoy it. Praise GOd, seriously.
So basically my life is the same every week, though God has done something really awesome in the midst of all of this. He has blessed me twice with money from different people, just becasue they felt the Lord telling them to do so. That's really sweet and awesome of God. Plus he has used random people like my sister to really cheer me up when the mundaness of it all was really getting to me. I love God for this sooo mcuh, becasue I know he wont leave me in this process alone and I know it´s not for forever and that the treasure/lesson/growth that will come out of this experience is really worth it. So just pray that I remain faithful, when I´m just like UGHHHHHHHH!!!! to life, becasue God is awesome and I need to just turn to Him because I can´t forget that He is my best of best friends and He knows me better than anyone else. It´s really awesome that we have a God that wants to be our friend, like he was with Abraham, Moses, David, the disciples, etc. So I want to take adavantage of that and not waste this opportunity he has given me even though it is an extremely tough lesson to learn.
I guess the only other update is that my mother is coming soon and that I should be in Cleveland this winter, God willing, for my sister´s wedding and Christmas, so I hope to be able to see and hang out with some of you guys. Also a guy, from North Carolina, who always visits some of the churches in Mexico hould be coming in September. He is part of the prophetic ministry and really encourages us every time he comes, so that ought to be pretty cool, plus he´s really nice and fun to hang out with. I´m praying for you all and I love you soo much.
Any whoo. August and September. I moved into my new place and it´s amazing. It has everything and includes all utilities, plus it is a 10 min walk to my job and a 30 min walk to my church, where the HOP is located. The only draw-back is that there is no internet which means I need to be in the HOP or my school to communicate with people which kind of sucks, but it also limits me from being on the computer an excessive amount of time in the evening. Yet the trade off is that there is cable, so lately I have been watching, SpongeBob and Fairy God parents in Spanish, but the Spanish name would be, Bob Esponja y Los Padrinos magicos, hahaha. Though I still have a problem with having access to a lot of movies, which I watch on the weekends. This occurs because I´m extremly bored because there is no one to hang out with, yet little by little I am trying to dedicate that time to praying and reading the bible more.
On the note of boredom....The one person I hang out with the most is currently in Bangladesh and will not be back in Mexico until Sept 28th I believe. Also I put that on my Facebook wall, so please, please be in prayer for him and the whole team that went. I think God is really going to do something powerful and amazing through them and I would love to be there, but God has me here and I know he hears my prayers. Well the idea of being bored, I am. Not really bored it´s just that my life is so humdrum or monotonous, which is teaching me to be faithful and content in the little. It´s one thing to want to dig deeper in the Lord when you are doing great, amazing and exciting things in him or your life is horrible, but to have the same consitency and faithfulness and when your life is absolutely lacking in excitement is really, really difficult and it is a test of your charachter and true desire to dig deep into God and to be faithful. So that has been the biggest challenge, not to get easily distracted and become complacent or bitter. Still I want to do something different, so I am going to start going to Mexico City once a month again because, well, the people are just more exciting and interactive out there, I feel more a part of the body then I do here and they welcome and include me a lot more. The second thing is that I am going to take cooking classes in the Centro (down town area) once a week or every other week, depending on the price. I´m going to go with my best friends mother, Gladis, who I absolutely love, she is sooo wonderful, sweet and amazing and has been so loving to me. The first class I´m going to is this Wednesday, which will be traditional Mexican food, which I really need to learn. So these should be fun and exciting activities, plus this Wed, the 16th is Indpendence day for Mexico, which means, HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to enjoy it. Praise GOd, seriously.
So basically my life is the same every week, though God has done something really awesome in the midst of all of this. He has blessed me twice with money from different people, just becasue they felt the Lord telling them to do so. That's really sweet and awesome of God. Plus he has used random people like my sister to really cheer me up when the mundaness of it all was really getting to me. I love God for this sooo mcuh, becasue I know he wont leave me in this process alone and I know it´s not for forever and that the treasure/lesson/growth that will come out of this experience is really worth it. So just pray that I remain faithful, when I´m just like UGHHHHHHHH!!!! to life, becasue God is awesome and I need to just turn to Him because I can´t forget that He is my best of best friends and He knows me better than anyone else. It´s really awesome that we have a God that wants to be our friend, like he was with Abraham, Moses, David, the disciples, etc. So I want to take adavantage of that and not waste this opportunity he has given me even though it is an extremely tough lesson to learn.
I guess the only other update is that my mother is coming soon and that I should be in Cleveland this winter, God willing, for my sister´s wedding and Christmas, so I hope to be able to see and hang out with some of you guys. Also a guy, from North Carolina, who always visits some of the churches in Mexico hould be coming in September. He is part of the prophetic ministry and really encourages us every time he comes, so that ought to be pretty cool, plus he´s really nice and fun to hang out with. I´m praying for you all and I love you soo much.
8/28/2009
7/25/2009
So a long awaited update.
Well I guess I need to update over the last month or two. My time in Cleveland was fantastic and full of adventures and great moments with old friends. The first few days of my trip were a little tiring because I needed to recuperate from traveling but I was able to hang out with friends that I hadn´t seen in over a year, especially my girls. I went to movie nights, ate at prestys and had many other moments that took me down memory lane. Lastly I participated in my very own garage sale which helped to support me while I was in the states, plus get rid of some things that I have no way of using in Mexico.
After about a week in Cleveland, things really started to pick up. The wedding of one of my best friends, Laura Demitrack, was in full speed and the fun was just beginning. The next few days were filled with bachelorette parties, late night hang outs, rehearsal dinners, wedding grooming and of course the wedding itself. The wedding was very beautiful and surreal at the same time because now two of my closest friends are married and they are married to two great young men who I am privileged to call friends as well. So more than anything my time in Cleveland allowed me to see how much I have grown and my friends have grown as well. We are no longer 18 in our first year of college, in fact six years have passed since then and we are all approaching the prime of our 20´s were we will start to settle down and really establish what we will do and believe for the rest of our lives. I suppose that in many ways this can be a very scary step, but I think it´s rather exciting because we get to see how the Lord has brought us through so much individually and together and watch as he continues to guide our paths according to his will, even in this new era of our lives.
In addition to the wedding many other great moments occurred. I hung out with my mom and dad, celebrating their 60th and 78th birthday. I met my sister´s boyfriend who is now her fiancée. Another one of my closest friends got engaged with her boyfriend. I watched the clip of a wedding of another pair of friends, which almost made me cry because it was so beautiful. I visited Scranton Rd. Bible Church and had a blast. Lastly I saw God in a new way, how he uses old memories mixing with the new to grow you in your understanding of love and support that we receive in the body.
As for a quick update of what I have been doing since I´ve been back in Mexico. Well as soon as I returned I had one day to recuperate before a group from Kansas City flew in. They were coming to pray through the night to seek the face of the Lord on the issue of justice in Mexico City and to hear his view on it and his response to it according to His word. So for the next two weeks I prayed through the night, visited some of the darkest places in Mexico City, went to the desert, which is extremely beautiful but extremely poor, made new friends and heard the voice of the Lord speak clearly into my life as well as the life of others in such a profound way. Currently I am still teaching and preparing for a trip to Irapuato for a conference in which we will be praying and discussing many different topics such as the vision of God for the church, the end times, Revelations (which is my favorite and one of the most crucial), the hope of Glory-God in us, as well as many other things. My best-friend in Mexico, Benjamin Nuñez will be preaching along with his father, Juan Manuel Nuñez, and I will help with small group discussions as well as prayer time. So please pray for us. We really want to see the manifestation of God´s glory and power in the lives of these people and in this city so that they will be a ready people for the second coming of the Lord.
Okay I´m going to end this update and I will either send out an email telling more about the two weeks with the group from Kansas as well as Irapuato or just post it on my blog, I´m not sure which yet. Until next time, let the Lord be glorified always and I love you guys.
Well I guess I need to update over the last month or two. My time in Cleveland was fantastic and full of adventures and great moments with old friends. The first few days of my trip were a little tiring because I needed to recuperate from traveling but I was able to hang out with friends that I hadn´t seen in over a year, especially my girls. I went to movie nights, ate at prestys and had many other moments that took me down memory lane. Lastly I participated in my very own garage sale which helped to support me while I was in the states, plus get rid of some things that I have no way of using in Mexico.
After about a week in Cleveland, things really started to pick up. The wedding of one of my best friends, Laura Demitrack, was in full speed and the fun was just beginning. The next few days were filled with bachelorette parties, late night hang outs, rehearsal dinners, wedding grooming and of course the wedding itself. The wedding was very beautiful and surreal at the same time because now two of my closest friends are married and they are married to two great young men who I am privileged to call friends as well. So more than anything my time in Cleveland allowed me to see how much I have grown and my friends have grown as well. We are no longer 18 in our first year of college, in fact six years have passed since then and we are all approaching the prime of our 20´s were we will start to settle down and really establish what we will do and believe for the rest of our lives. I suppose that in many ways this can be a very scary step, but I think it´s rather exciting because we get to see how the Lord has brought us through so much individually and together and watch as he continues to guide our paths according to his will, even in this new era of our lives.
In addition to the wedding many other great moments occurred. I hung out with my mom and dad, celebrating their 60th and 78th birthday. I met my sister´s boyfriend who is now her fiancée. Another one of my closest friends got engaged with her boyfriend. I watched the clip of a wedding of another pair of friends, which almost made me cry because it was so beautiful. I visited Scranton Rd. Bible Church and had a blast. Lastly I saw God in a new way, how he uses old memories mixing with the new to grow you in your understanding of love and support that we receive in the body.
As for a quick update of what I have been doing since I´ve been back in Mexico. Well as soon as I returned I had one day to recuperate before a group from Kansas City flew in. They were coming to pray through the night to seek the face of the Lord on the issue of justice in Mexico City and to hear his view on it and his response to it according to His word. So for the next two weeks I prayed through the night, visited some of the darkest places in Mexico City, went to the desert, which is extremely beautiful but extremely poor, made new friends and heard the voice of the Lord speak clearly into my life as well as the life of others in such a profound way. Currently I am still teaching and preparing for a trip to Irapuato for a conference in which we will be praying and discussing many different topics such as the vision of God for the church, the end times, Revelations (which is my favorite and one of the most crucial), the hope of Glory-God in us, as well as many other things. My best-friend in Mexico, Benjamin Nuñez will be preaching along with his father, Juan Manuel Nuñez, and I will help with small group discussions as well as prayer time. So please pray for us. We really want to see the manifestation of God´s glory and power in the lives of these people and in this city so that they will be a ready people for the second coming of the Lord.
Okay I´m going to end this update and I will either send out an email telling more about the two weeks with the group from Kansas as well as Irapuato or just post it on my blog, I´m not sure which yet. Until next time, let the Lord be glorified always and I love you guys.
6/16/2009
Visit home
In less than 9 hours I will be taking off from Mexico City to embark on my trip to Cleveland. At the moment because I'm probably exhausted, I'm not super excited. In fact I am rather in a pondering mood. I have a lot of questions about my time in Cleveland and my time here in Mexico that has passed. I know that I will only be gone for 2 weeks but I will really miss everyone here, becasue they have become family to me. In fact on Monday I had breakfast with my best friends mom, that was such an absolute blessing. I love spending time with her, because it's great to have a perspective from someone who is older than I am, in fact who can possible be my mother, in age. I just realize how much the Lord has blesssed me with in Mexico and I don't want to forget about it just because I'm coming home. Instead I'm hoping that by the grace of God the two world will completely merge in this visit home. I'mn hoping to join my mexican life with the friends and family the Lord gave me in Cleveland. I have many expectations out of this trip, but I don't want to put them up becasue they are more like personal prayer request.
Well I really am tired and I need to be on a bus at 5:30 am so I should get some shut eye. Before I stop I just what to glorify God, and Honor Him for his grace and mercy, how none of this would be possible without him and how his hand was in the midst of it all from the very beggining. Thank you Christ Jesus, I love you.
Well I really am tired and I need to be on a bus at 5:30 am so I should get some shut eye. Before I stop I just what to glorify God, and Honor Him for his grace and mercy, how none of this would be possible without him and how his hand was in the midst of it all from the very beggining. Thank you Christ Jesus, I love you.
5/31/2009
Blogging is so difficult
Well I know that it has been a long while since I've posted on my blog, I think becasue I find it impossible to decide what to write about and would much rather say it. So I think a video blog would be much easier for me. Any whoo, I will try to make this a real update on my life, but bare with me becasue I tend to go off into tangents of prayers or things the Lord has been showing me because I just find them more interesting to write about.
Well were do I begin.
Well were do I begin.
- Since March I have lived through April and May, hehe. Honestly I couldn't tell you what happened in April becasue I honestly don't remember. I do know that in the House of Prayer we sent out our first group of letters to churches in April. It's really cool actually. Everyone has been assigned a church to pray for daily, and there are abut 15 or more different churches, three of which are in Cleveland (Metro, Scranton and IHOP Cleveland-which isn't really a church, hehe but still equally loved and important). For each church about 2 or more people are assigned to pray for the pastors and the members daily. Every month they write down what their prayers were and anything the Lord has given them for the church, like a specific bible verse and then we compile it all and send it out to the church to encourage them monthly. This has to be one of the coolest thing I have been a part of.
- Through April and May I've had more translating opportunities which I absolutely love. Translating is a lot of work but it's really enjoyable and edifying when it's something relating to God, not to mention a great way to build my vocabulary in English and Spanish. So yeah that has been truly fantastic and I hope to do more. I may have the opportunity to translate a book, which would be AWESOME, so please pray for that and the letters we send out to the churches.
- Secondly, I was in a wedding in April, my best friends brother (who is also a really good friend of mine) got married and I was a brides maid. It was a lot of fun and a chance to dress up, which was great. I don't have pictures though becasue I left my camera in North Caroline in my sister's house, which is sucky becasue my hair was really cute, ni modo (not sure how to translate that, but kinda of like, well what can you do).
- I've been studying 1 John over the past two weeks and that book is rich and revelation about God and His love. This topic alone can cover multiple entries so I will move on.
In May that's when things really started to kick off becasue I can remember more. This has been the month of preperation for all that is to come in June and July, a lot of planning and a lot of busy work which I realized that I enjoy, I think mostly becasue I feel like it's useful becasue it's to glorify God in the long run and to edify his church, which is straight up awesome.
- Firstly I decided to shorten my trip to Cleveland, well it was partially decided for me becasue I need to be here and wanted to be here for a group that is coming from Kansas. The main point is that to change a flight it costs 150 dollars and I was able to change it for free. This was due to the Swine Flu, which closed eveything down for about 2 weeks. So that was an answer to prayer.
- Planning for the group from Kansas City. The IHOP in kansas has a group called the nightwatch, people who pray only at night from 12am-6am daily. Well a small group of them are coming to Mexico and they will be praying their normal hours but also visiting places where their is much injustice to pray for the people and in a manner of speaking to bring the kingdom of God to the poor. They will be in Mexico July 3-16 so if you could pray for this that would be great, becasue it will be hectic but I feel so confident in God that he is really going to do something awesome, even if it's for Him to just be glorified, that's still pretty sweet and I'm excited.
- My trip to the staes, June 16-July 2. Not including my two travel days, I will be there for 15 days. I was really excited and now I'm just taking it one day at a time because there's still so much to plan for and I don't want to freak out. During this time I will unfortunately miss Wayne and Bindu's wedding and Michael and Carrie's becasue I will be leaving early, sooo FIDDLE STICKS, becasue I wish I could be there. Yet I will be one of the many lovely bride's maids for Laura and Eric's wedding which aught to be a blast. Also I get to see my Father, brother, sister and Mother as well as super close amazing friends and this is one of the many blessings. I'm really looking forward to seeing my dad because it's been a year and well I just want him to know that I love Him and miss Him. So if you could pray for that please, especially since He is not a believer and for my whole family in general as well as my trip to Cleveland.
- When I return I will be extremly busy right away with the Kansas group, then I will have a week off. After that a group of us are going to Irapuato for 4 days to minister there July 30- Aug 2. It's kind of a big conference. We will be talking about the vision of the house of prayer but also many other things that the Lord has been speaking in the area of unity in the body of Christ, which will proabably be the main topic and focus. This is probably one of the most important things taking place becasue God has open up a door for a group of young people to be an example to churches and bring His word where it is needed. SO really please pray for this time, that their hearts will be open to recieve what God has for them and to hear His voice. Also pray that we might be humble, broken and completely sensitive to the holy spirit so that we walk according to God's will in everything we say and do while we are there. Yet also that we will walk in His power and see the manifestation of His glory and power.
- Smaller events: Profudizando June 13, this is an expo on the house of prayer and the importance and effects of prayer. This is open to everyone in the church where I attend and other churches in the area becasue we want to be united since we are all brothers and sisters and part of one body. La velada June 19, a velada is a night time prayer meeting that usually lasts all night, I believe, but this will only be for 3 hours and I wont even be there, which is sad, but I'll be praying even still. This is like part two to the expo, so that everyone who came to the expo can experience a prayer time together.
- Lastly the girls had a pajama party at the church, ages 13-36. It was really good and we really got to know each other and to share about what God is doing in our lives and speaking to us personally, which was awesome. And hopefully I will be doing a retreat of silence this upcoming weekend. If you can pray that the Lord opens the door for me to do it for three days, fasting and praying. This is something I desperately need right now and I feel is vital to be ready to do everything God is calling me to be a part of here in Mexico.
I believe there are many more little things I can update you on like, great and challenging conversations as well as birthdays but this entry is already really long and it's 12:30 right now and I should sleep, though I think I'm going to pray instead, hehe. I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow, ni modo, it's so worth it. I hope that was a good update, tell me if I'm missing something that I should have updated, pertaining to a specific area of my life. Love you all.
3/23/2009
Nameless Faceless Placeless Generation
Well first I want to say that I am writing this entry becasue I can't sleep though I want to. Mostly because I feel horrible that I let one of my friends down with an assignment he wanted me to help him with. I did do most of it but I feel bad that I didn't finish, mostly because I didn't know the deadline, and if you know me at all you know that I work much better with deadlines, it's like pressure that gets me going. Well so now I can't sleep becasue I'm t hinking about it, but this way I can finally write about something the Lord has been showing or revealing in my heart.
Well this post is named after lyrics in a song written by Jason Upton called Lion of Judah. The lyrics are below.
No one knows the hour. No one knows the day. Jesus is coming soon. All creation trembles, longing for the day. Jesus is coming soon There will be judgment. There will be mercy On that terrible day Leaders will bow down. Kingdoms will fall down. Have you felt your world begin to shake? Hear the sound of the Lion of Judah See the fire and the fear in the enemy's camp From the sound of the lion of Judah roaring again There's a new generation arising A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe All they fear is the fear of the Lord All they hear is the Lion of Judah All I saw were bones breaking in the darkness Then I walked into the light There I saw an army coming from the river With five stones ready to fight.
This song is based mostly on Revelations and and how God is raising up a people like David, who will only long to please the Father´s heart. The part that really sticks out to me is "There´s a new generation arising A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe. All they fear is the fear of the Lord, All they hear is the Lion of Judah." Well this past week was really difficult for me emotionally, which in many ways is no different than any other week in Mexico. Yet, it was like the last straw that broke the camel's back. I was just realizing that we take pride in our identities, the labels that we carry, the ones put on us by others or the ones we put on ourselves. No matter what the case, this is where we base a large part of our identity. In many ways nothing seems wrong with this and becasue it's not 100 percent incorrect. Yes I am an African American Female who grew up in the hood yet talks and acts like an Oreo (black on the outside, white on the inside). Yet the real question is, is this who I really am or who I want to be? Living in Mexico has caused me to rethink my very identity. Here in Mexico I really stick out as an American woman who is Black and is extremely independent due to my culture, though the latter has greatly changed by the Grace and Mercy of God. The whole point being, that on Friday night I got to the point that I was sick of these labels. In all reality I don't want to be known as an American or the black girl or whatever other identity society may give me. I want to be nameless. This doesn't mean without identity, it just means that I completey give up my identity for the identity of Christ. I think of it this way; when a wife marries her husband she makes the choice to give up her last name (her identity to who she was before) and take the last name of her husband (taken on her new identity). I desire to do the same. As the bride of Christ (his Church), I want to let go of my current identity and take on the identity of Christ Jesus. I love the promise that is given to the church in Revelations 3:11-13
Behold, I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown. He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name. “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” (Emphasis added by me)
This is what I want to be, a part of a nameless, faceless, placeless tribe. I want to know that my heart desires to do everything for the glory of the king. It is my desire that nothing I do will be for my own honor, my own name. I see so many people who lived like this in the bible, Abraham, David, John the Baptist, Paul. They didn't do things to profit themselves and they let go of the identity they had in the world becoming nothing so that they could inherit everything in Christ Jesus, His name, His identity, His face, His kingdom. Maybe people might think that I am denyiny myself because I'm not embracing my "African-American" identity or whatever else, but in my heart I have one identity Christ Jesus and I want to be known only as a lover of God. I've realized that all the other labels or identities that I carried in my heart made me only feal inferior, less or at times prideful, making it difficult to accept the grace of God. I take pride that the Lord only sees who I truly am, my heart and nothing else. I don't want to have to live up to something the world has placed on me, becasue in reality it's to much and I can't bare the burden because I will never feel adequate. So I choose to let it all go and become a part of the Kings army. Nothing to the world, yet everything to my God. God help me to die to all that I am, Christ I want to bare your name.
"There's a new generation rising. A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe. All they fear is the fear of the Lord. All they hear is the Lion of Judah."
Well this post is named after lyrics in a song written by Jason Upton called Lion of Judah. The lyrics are below.
No one knows the hour. No one knows the day. Jesus is coming soon. All creation trembles, longing for the day. Jesus is coming soon There will be judgment. There will be mercy On that terrible day Leaders will bow down. Kingdoms will fall down. Have you felt your world begin to shake? Hear the sound of the Lion of Judah See the fire and the fear in the enemy's camp From the sound of the lion of Judah roaring again There's a new generation arising A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe All they fear is the fear of the Lord All they hear is the Lion of Judah All I saw were bones breaking in the darkness Then I walked into the light There I saw an army coming from the river With five stones ready to fight.
This song is based mostly on Revelations and and how God is raising up a people like David, who will only long to please the Father´s heart. The part that really sticks out to me is "There´s a new generation arising A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe. All they fear is the fear of the Lord, All they hear is the Lion of Judah." Well this past week was really difficult for me emotionally, which in many ways is no different than any other week in Mexico. Yet, it was like the last straw that broke the camel's back. I was just realizing that we take pride in our identities, the labels that we carry, the ones put on us by others or the ones we put on ourselves. No matter what the case, this is where we base a large part of our identity. In many ways nothing seems wrong with this and becasue it's not 100 percent incorrect. Yes I am an African American Female who grew up in the hood yet talks and acts like an Oreo (black on the outside, white on the inside). Yet the real question is, is this who I really am or who I want to be? Living in Mexico has caused me to rethink my very identity. Here in Mexico I really stick out as an American woman who is Black and is extremely independent due to my culture, though the latter has greatly changed by the Grace and Mercy of God. The whole point being, that on Friday night I got to the point that I was sick of these labels. In all reality I don't want to be known as an American or the black girl or whatever other identity society may give me. I want to be nameless. This doesn't mean without identity, it just means that I completey give up my identity for the identity of Christ. I think of it this way; when a wife marries her husband she makes the choice to give up her last name (her identity to who she was before) and take the last name of her husband (taken on her new identity). I desire to do the same. As the bride of Christ (his Church), I want to let go of my current identity and take on the identity of Christ Jesus. I love the promise that is given to the church in Revelations 3:11-13
Behold, I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown. He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name. “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” (Emphasis added by me)
This is what I want to be, a part of a nameless, faceless, placeless tribe. I want to know that my heart desires to do everything for the glory of the king. It is my desire that nothing I do will be for my own honor, my own name. I see so many people who lived like this in the bible, Abraham, David, John the Baptist, Paul. They didn't do things to profit themselves and they let go of the identity they had in the world becoming nothing so that they could inherit everything in Christ Jesus, His name, His identity, His face, His kingdom. Maybe people might think that I am denyiny myself because I'm not embracing my "African-American" identity or whatever else, but in my heart I have one identity Christ Jesus and I want to be known only as a lover of God. I've realized that all the other labels or identities that I carried in my heart made me only feal inferior, less or at times prideful, making it difficult to accept the grace of God. I take pride that the Lord only sees who I truly am, my heart and nothing else. I don't want to have to live up to something the world has placed on me, becasue in reality it's to much and I can't bare the burden because I will never feel adequate. So I choose to let it all go and become a part of the Kings army. Nothing to the world, yet everything to my God. God help me to die to all that I am, Christ I want to bare your name.
"There's a new generation rising. A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe. All they fear is the fear of the Lord. All they hear is the Lion of Judah."
3/17/2009
Quiet Time Reflection
John 1:16-17
And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace. For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
So I was reading John this morning and I read quite a few chapters but then I decided to read it again when I got to the house of prayer. The part that stuck out in my heart was John 1:16-17. I had a question about 16 because I didn’t quite understand what it meant by grace for grace, unless grace was given over the grace we had but this grace would fulfill all and lead us to the cross, to His face, to His presence. And the second part is mind blowing. Not to diminish the law because the word clearly says that nothing diminishes the law. My heart burns because I know that only grace and truth comes from the king. By His grace we can know truth. John 8: 31-32 Jesus said, ´If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.´
I love the word order because it states, THEN you will know the truth. How can we know the truth, only by holding onto His teachings. His very word gives us life because without it we will be deceived because we will not have known the truth that came into the world and that is with those who believe. John 6:51 ´I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats of this bread will live forever.´ We seek for knowledge in this generation but the truth sets us free and we know the truth by holding onto His teachings which come only by eating the bread of life which gives us eternal life which is Jesus who is the very Word of God.
CHRIST JESUS, thank you. Father I glorify your name because I know that you will set me free, the truth sets me free because you set me free and you are the truth. Father I repent for my sins in every way, help me to shut my mouth to submit to your will and all that you desire. How I long to lay down my life for the sake of Christ and his kingdom. Father I know that I need grace, that I can’t do anything without it so I am seeking the truth. I’m seeking to hold onto your precepts your ways your laws so that I might be free in Christ Jesus. Lord consume my soul with your truth and let me lay down my life so that I might know the truth. Take away all pride, all anger, all hate, all self-pity and sadness so that I can see the light which is Christ Jesus. John 1:5 ´The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome (understand) it.´ Christ I pray not to have a hardened hard, Yea of Little faith, oh how this applies to my own heart. At times we don’t understand how the apostles time and time again couldn’t fathom how God was going to work out His miracles, yet I know that I am no different. Christ at times I can’t even fathom your love, how lost am I. Yet thanks be to Christ Jesus for His mercy and Grace that I am redeemed and you pour out your love and grace time and time again so that I can remember the glory of the King in whom I serve. I feel so weak, so incapable, so without the ability in anyway to do a shred of what you desire and what will please you, yet I cry out to you Christ with the hope that you will show me grace and pick me up from the ground and out of love let me serve you let me lay at your feet. If all you desire is for me to sit and wait I will do it because I am not worthy yet I cry out to the King. Christ show me your way, set me free by your word, your love, your truth. Christ I need and love you.
And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace. For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
So I was reading John this morning and I read quite a few chapters but then I decided to read it again when I got to the house of prayer. The part that stuck out in my heart was John 1:16-17. I had a question about 16 because I didn’t quite understand what it meant by grace for grace, unless grace was given over the grace we had but this grace would fulfill all and lead us to the cross, to His face, to His presence. And the second part is mind blowing. Not to diminish the law because the word clearly says that nothing diminishes the law. My heart burns because I know that only grace and truth comes from the king. By His grace we can know truth. John 8: 31-32 Jesus said, ´If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.´
I love the word order because it states, THEN you will know the truth. How can we know the truth, only by holding onto His teachings. His very word gives us life because without it we will be deceived because we will not have known the truth that came into the world and that is with those who believe. John 6:51 ´I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats of this bread will live forever.´ We seek for knowledge in this generation but the truth sets us free and we know the truth by holding onto His teachings which come only by eating the bread of life which gives us eternal life which is Jesus who is the very Word of God.
CHRIST JESUS, thank you. Father I glorify your name because I know that you will set me free, the truth sets me free because you set me free and you are the truth. Father I repent for my sins in every way, help me to shut my mouth to submit to your will and all that you desire. How I long to lay down my life for the sake of Christ and his kingdom. Father I know that I need grace, that I can’t do anything without it so I am seeking the truth. I’m seeking to hold onto your precepts your ways your laws so that I might be free in Christ Jesus. Lord consume my soul with your truth and let me lay down my life so that I might know the truth. Take away all pride, all anger, all hate, all self-pity and sadness so that I can see the light which is Christ Jesus. John 1:5 ´The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome (understand) it.´ Christ I pray not to have a hardened hard, Yea of Little faith, oh how this applies to my own heart. At times we don’t understand how the apostles time and time again couldn’t fathom how God was going to work out His miracles, yet I know that I am no different. Christ at times I can’t even fathom your love, how lost am I. Yet thanks be to Christ Jesus for His mercy and Grace that I am redeemed and you pour out your love and grace time and time again so that I can remember the glory of the King in whom I serve. I feel so weak, so incapable, so without the ability in anyway to do a shred of what you desire and what will please you, yet I cry out to you Christ with the hope that you will show me grace and pick me up from the ground and out of love let me serve you let me lay at your feet. If all you desire is for me to sit and wait I will do it because I am not worthy yet I cry out to the King. Christ show me your way, set me free by your word, your love, your truth. Christ I need and love you.
3/02/2009
I´m back
Primero perdoname si pongo cosas en español porque ahora es mas dificil escribir en íngles porque pienso mucho en Español de hecho sueño en Español aveces. Pues ahora en íngles. (Firstly, forgive me if I put some things in spanish becasue now it´s more difficult to write in English becasue I think in Spanish a lot, in fact I dream in Spanish sometimes.)
HELLOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!! I know that it has been a century since my last post or even email to any of you, but as you all should know my computer died and I just recently got a new one, an ACER!!!!!! SO where do I began to update everyone. I guess I will start with the most exciting news today, I translated my first few pages from Spanish to English and I think I did a good job, not to mention that it was sooooooo much fun. This is something I could really enjoy, especially if I´m translating Christian things because then I´m edified at the same time, that´s straight up AWESOME!!!!!!!! Well other than that the past few months and the next few months willbe a time of transition for me in many ways. I really don´t want to go into details here on my blog but if you ask me I will more that willingly tell you. I think what I really want to talk about is the glory of God. Unfortunately I don´t have 100 pages to write all that I want but I just wanted to share with everyone how life transforming and miracolously faithful the Lord has been. Well maybe it´s better to say that I am just now starting to see this aspect of God´s charachter becasue he has been like this since the beginning and he will continue to be this way until the end, ALPHA and OMEGA Glory be to God!!!!!
Well since I got back from the states over Christmas, there has been a longing like no other in the very depths of my soul, a desire to completely throw everything away for Him, to live like John the Baptist, Daniel, Enoch, Abraham, Paul, Elijah and many more in the bible. I mean literally I want to give my life to the KINGDOM!!!! And that´s the thing, the kingdom. I was noticing a few days ago how Christ in the gospels talks about the KINGDOM. Salvation is beautiful and I thank God will all my heart for it, becasue it transformed my life. Yet what about the Kingdom. The Kingdom of God. ¨Hallowed be your name, your kingdom come your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.¨ Matthew 6:9-10 SO what is this Kingdom of God that Jesus himself said that we should be crying out for day and night (Like 18:7). Obviously it includes His justice, His love, His mercy, His judgment, etc. etc. But the part that blows my mind is that His Justice, His Love, His mercy, etc are quite the opposite of what we think to be right. Let´s look at our society. We are taught to be independent thinkers who question everything and to focus solely on ourselves so that we can be better, stronger, smarter, faster. And some of these qualities are okay yet, the problem is the root, completely self-sufficient and independent of God. Yet in his kingdom we see people like Paul who were completely dependent and looked at like fools all for the sake of the gospel and the glory of God so that His kingdom would come on earth (2 Corinthians 6:4-10). I mean, WOW!!!!! When you read that verse don´t you just want to jump up and say, GOD, Glory Be to Your Name!!!! At the same time when I read it it sounds so contradictory, and that´s what I love about God. There are so many things that seem down right STUPID in the eyes of man, even my own, yet they are more precious than Gold to the Father. Matthew 5:3-10, Matthew 10:34-39, Isaiah 55:1, Mark 10:29-31 and there are 100´s more. Sometimes I feel like we just look at these verses and take a good moral lesson out of them, including myself, but I don´t want to do that anymore. I truly want to live for the Kingdom of God, living as though I am a stranger to this world (Hebrews 11:8-10). One of my really close friends told me something profound. As he was studying the word he was realizing that it doesn´t matter where we are becasue JESUS IS THE WAY!!!!!! As long as our eyes are on Him we are going in the right direction, that´s kingdom living becasue what that lifestyle everything is in the air but there is no worry becasue you know that the Lord has you, like David in 1 Samuel.
I don´t know, to many this might seem like a random sentences and thoughts or even that I´m crazy, and that´s okay. I just know that the Lord is really sturring my heart about his Kingdom and his Bride becasue time is drawing short and I want to be ready and I want to know that I really knew the Father and the Son while I was here on earth. I guess my prayer is that the Lord will reveal to me more revelation about His kingdom and what it means to completely live for him.
So yeah that´s just a small part of what´s been in my mind since my last post. So many things have happened, but one day at a time. Hope I can get a chance to talk to you soon. If you have skype, lets skype it up one day.
HELLOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!! I know that it has been a century since my last post or even email to any of you, but as you all should know my computer died and I just recently got a new one, an ACER!!!!!! SO where do I began to update everyone. I guess I will start with the most exciting news today, I translated my first few pages from Spanish to English and I think I did a good job, not to mention that it was sooooooo much fun. This is something I could really enjoy, especially if I´m translating Christian things because then I´m edified at the same time, that´s straight up AWESOME!!!!!!!! Well other than that the past few months and the next few months willbe a time of transition for me in many ways. I really don´t want to go into details here on my blog but if you ask me I will more that willingly tell you. I think what I really want to talk about is the glory of God. Unfortunately I don´t have 100 pages to write all that I want but I just wanted to share with everyone how life transforming and miracolously faithful the Lord has been. Well maybe it´s better to say that I am just now starting to see this aspect of God´s charachter becasue he has been like this since the beginning and he will continue to be this way until the end, ALPHA and OMEGA Glory be to God!!!!!
Well since I got back from the states over Christmas, there has been a longing like no other in the very depths of my soul, a desire to completely throw everything away for Him, to live like John the Baptist, Daniel, Enoch, Abraham, Paul, Elijah and many more in the bible. I mean literally I want to give my life to the KINGDOM!!!! And that´s the thing, the kingdom. I was noticing a few days ago how Christ in the gospels talks about the KINGDOM. Salvation is beautiful and I thank God will all my heart for it, becasue it transformed my life. Yet what about the Kingdom. The Kingdom of God. ¨Hallowed be your name, your kingdom come your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.¨ Matthew 6:9-10 SO what is this Kingdom of God that Jesus himself said that we should be crying out for day and night (Like 18:7). Obviously it includes His justice, His love, His mercy, His judgment, etc. etc. But the part that blows my mind is that His Justice, His Love, His mercy, etc are quite the opposite of what we think to be right. Let´s look at our society. We are taught to be independent thinkers who question everything and to focus solely on ourselves so that we can be better, stronger, smarter, faster. And some of these qualities are okay yet, the problem is the root, completely self-sufficient and independent of God. Yet in his kingdom we see people like Paul who were completely dependent and looked at like fools all for the sake of the gospel and the glory of God so that His kingdom would come on earth (2 Corinthians 6:4-10). I mean, WOW!!!!! When you read that verse don´t you just want to jump up and say, GOD, Glory Be to Your Name!!!! At the same time when I read it it sounds so contradictory, and that´s what I love about God. There are so many things that seem down right STUPID in the eyes of man, even my own, yet they are more precious than Gold to the Father. Matthew 5:3-10, Matthew 10:34-39, Isaiah 55:1, Mark 10:29-31 and there are 100´s more. Sometimes I feel like we just look at these verses and take a good moral lesson out of them, including myself, but I don´t want to do that anymore. I truly want to live for the Kingdom of God, living as though I am a stranger to this world (Hebrews 11:8-10). One of my really close friends told me something profound. As he was studying the word he was realizing that it doesn´t matter where we are becasue JESUS IS THE WAY!!!!!! As long as our eyes are on Him we are going in the right direction, that´s kingdom living becasue what that lifestyle everything is in the air but there is no worry becasue you know that the Lord has you, like David in 1 Samuel.
I don´t know, to many this might seem like a random sentences and thoughts or even that I´m crazy, and that´s okay. I just know that the Lord is really sturring my heart about his Kingdom and his Bride becasue time is drawing short and I want to be ready and I want to know that I really knew the Father and the Son while I was here on earth. I guess my prayer is that the Lord will reveal to me more revelation about His kingdom and what it means to completely live for him.
So yeah that´s just a small part of what´s been in my mind since my last post. So many things have happened, but one day at a time. Hope I can get a chance to talk to you soon. If you have skype, lets skype it up one day.
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