Well first I want to say that I am writing this entry becasue I can't sleep though I want to. Mostly because I feel horrible that I let one of my friends down with an assignment he wanted me to help him with. I did do most of it but I feel bad that I didn't finish, mostly because I didn't know the deadline, and if you know me at all you know that I work much better with deadlines, it's like pressure that gets me going. Well so now I can't sleep becasue I'm t hinking about it, but this way I can finally write about something the Lord has been showing or revealing in my heart.
Well this post is named after lyrics in a song written by Jason Upton called Lion of Judah. The lyrics are below.
No one knows the hour. No one knows the day. Jesus is coming soon. All creation trembles, longing for the day. Jesus is coming soon There will be judgment. There will be mercy On that terrible day Leaders will bow down. Kingdoms will fall down. Have you felt your world begin to shake? Hear the sound of the Lion of Judah See the fire and the fear in the enemy's camp From the sound of the lion of Judah roaring again There's a new generation arising A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe All they fear is the fear of the Lord All they hear is the Lion of Judah All I saw were bones breaking in the darkness Then I walked into the light There I saw an army coming from the river With five stones ready to fight.
This song is based mostly on Revelations and and how God is raising up a people like David, who will only long to please the Father´s heart. The part that really sticks out to me is "There´s a new generation arising A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe. All they fear is the fear of the Lord, All they hear is the Lion of Judah." Well this past week was really difficult for me emotionally, which in many ways is no different than any other week in Mexico. Yet, it was like the last straw that broke the camel's back. I was just realizing that we take pride in our identities, the labels that we carry, the ones put on us by others or the ones we put on ourselves. No matter what the case, this is where we base a large part of our identity. In many ways nothing seems wrong with this and becasue it's not 100 percent incorrect. Yes I am an African American Female who grew up in the hood yet talks and acts like an Oreo (black on the outside, white on the inside). Yet the real question is, is this who I really am or who I want to be? Living in Mexico has caused me to rethink my very identity. Here in Mexico I really stick out as an American woman who is Black and is extremely independent due to my culture, though the latter has greatly changed by the Grace and Mercy of God. The whole point being, that on Friday night I got to the point that I was sick of these labels. In all reality I don't want to be known as an American or the black girl or whatever other identity society may give me. I want to be nameless. This doesn't mean without identity, it just means that I completey give up my identity for the identity of Christ. I think of it this way; when a wife marries her husband she makes the choice to give up her last name (her identity to who she was before) and take the last name of her husband (taken on her new identity). I desire to do the same. As the bride of Christ (his Church), I want to let go of my current identity and take on the identity of Christ Jesus. I love the promise that is given to the church in Revelations 3:11-13
Behold, I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown. He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name. “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” (Emphasis added by me)
This is what I want to be, a part of a nameless, faceless, placeless tribe. I want to know that my heart desires to do everything for the glory of the king. It is my desire that nothing I do will be for my own honor, my own name. I see so many people who lived like this in the bible, Abraham, David, John the Baptist, Paul. They didn't do things to profit themselves and they let go of the identity they had in the world becoming nothing so that they could inherit everything in Christ Jesus, His name, His identity, His face, His kingdom. Maybe people might think that I am denyiny myself because I'm not embracing my "African-American" identity or whatever else, but in my heart I have one identity Christ Jesus and I want to be known only as a lover of God. I've realized that all the other labels or identities that I carried in my heart made me only feal inferior, less or at times prideful, making it difficult to accept the grace of God. I take pride that the Lord only sees who I truly am, my heart and nothing else. I don't want to have to live up to something the world has placed on me, becasue in reality it's to much and I can't bare the burden because I will never feel adequate. So I choose to let it all go and become a part of the Kings army. Nothing to the world, yet everything to my God. God help me to die to all that I am, Christ I want to bare your name.
"There's a new generation rising. A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe. All they fear is the fear of the Lord. All they hear is the Lion of Judah."
3/17/2009
Quiet Time Reflection
John 1:16-17
And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace. For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
So I was reading John this morning and I read quite a few chapters but then I decided to read it again when I got to the house of prayer. The part that stuck out in my heart was John 1:16-17. I had a question about 16 because I didn’t quite understand what it meant by grace for grace, unless grace was given over the grace we had but this grace would fulfill all and lead us to the cross, to His face, to His presence. And the second part is mind blowing. Not to diminish the law because the word clearly says that nothing diminishes the law. My heart burns because I know that only grace and truth comes from the king. By His grace we can know truth. John 8: 31-32 Jesus said, ´If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.´
I love the word order because it states, THEN you will know the truth. How can we know the truth, only by holding onto His teachings. His very word gives us life because without it we will be deceived because we will not have known the truth that came into the world and that is with those who believe. John 6:51 ´I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats of this bread will live forever.´ We seek for knowledge in this generation but the truth sets us free and we know the truth by holding onto His teachings which come only by eating the bread of life which gives us eternal life which is Jesus who is the very Word of God.
CHRIST JESUS, thank you. Father I glorify your name because I know that you will set me free, the truth sets me free because you set me free and you are the truth. Father I repent for my sins in every way, help me to shut my mouth to submit to your will and all that you desire. How I long to lay down my life for the sake of Christ and his kingdom. Father I know that I need grace, that I can’t do anything without it so I am seeking the truth. I’m seeking to hold onto your precepts your ways your laws so that I might be free in Christ Jesus. Lord consume my soul with your truth and let me lay down my life so that I might know the truth. Take away all pride, all anger, all hate, all self-pity and sadness so that I can see the light which is Christ Jesus. John 1:5 ´The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome (understand) it.´ Christ I pray not to have a hardened hard, Yea of Little faith, oh how this applies to my own heart. At times we don’t understand how the apostles time and time again couldn’t fathom how God was going to work out His miracles, yet I know that I am no different. Christ at times I can’t even fathom your love, how lost am I. Yet thanks be to Christ Jesus for His mercy and Grace that I am redeemed and you pour out your love and grace time and time again so that I can remember the glory of the King in whom I serve. I feel so weak, so incapable, so without the ability in anyway to do a shred of what you desire and what will please you, yet I cry out to you Christ with the hope that you will show me grace and pick me up from the ground and out of love let me serve you let me lay at your feet. If all you desire is for me to sit and wait I will do it because I am not worthy yet I cry out to the King. Christ show me your way, set me free by your word, your love, your truth. Christ I need and love you.
And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace. For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
So I was reading John this morning and I read quite a few chapters but then I decided to read it again when I got to the house of prayer. The part that stuck out in my heart was John 1:16-17. I had a question about 16 because I didn’t quite understand what it meant by grace for grace, unless grace was given over the grace we had but this grace would fulfill all and lead us to the cross, to His face, to His presence. And the second part is mind blowing. Not to diminish the law because the word clearly says that nothing diminishes the law. My heart burns because I know that only grace and truth comes from the king. By His grace we can know truth. John 8: 31-32 Jesus said, ´If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.´
I love the word order because it states, THEN you will know the truth. How can we know the truth, only by holding onto His teachings. His very word gives us life because without it we will be deceived because we will not have known the truth that came into the world and that is with those who believe. John 6:51 ´I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats of this bread will live forever.´ We seek for knowledge in this generation but the truth sets us free and we know the truth by holding onto His teachings which come only by eating the bread of life which gives us eternal life which is Jesus who is the very Word of God.
CHRIST JESUS, thank you. Father I glorify your name because I know that you will set me free, the truth sets me free because you set me free and you are the truth. Father I repent for my sins in every way, help me to shut my mouth to submit to your will and all that you desire. How I long to lay down my life for the sake of Christ and his kingdom. Father I know that I need grace, that I can’t do anything without it so I am seeking the truth. I’m seeking to hold onto your precepts your ways your laws so that I might be free in Christ Jesus. Lord consume my soul with your truth and let me lay down my life so that I might know the truth. Take away all pride, all anger, all hate, all self-pity and sadness so that I can see the light which is Christ Jesus. John 1:5 ´The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome (understand) it.´ Christ I pray not to have a hardened hard, Yea of Little faith, oh how this applies to my own heart. At times we don’t understand how the apostles time and time again couldn’t fathom how God was going to work out His miracles, yet I know that I am no different. Christ at times I can’t even fathom your love, how lost am I. Yet thanks be to Christ Jesus for His mercy and Grace that I am redeemed and you pour out your love and grace time and time again so that I can remember the glory of the King in whom I serve. I feel so weak, so incapable, so without the ability in anyway to do a shred of what you desire and what will please you, yet I cry out to you Christ with the hope that you will show me grace and pick me up from the ground and out of love let me serve you let me lay at your feet. If all you desire is for me to sit and wait I will do it because I am not worthy yet I cry out to the King. Christ show me your way, set me free by your word, your love, your truth. Christ I need and love you.
3/02/2009
I´m back
Primero perdoname si pongo cosas en español porque ahora es mas dificil escribir en íngles porque pienso mucho en Español de hecho sueño en Español aveces. Pues ahora en íngles. (Firstly, forgive me if I put some things in spanish becasue now it´s more difficult to write in English becasue I think in Spanish a lot, in fact I dream in Spanish sometimes.)
HELLOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!! I know that it has been a century since my last post or even email to any of you, but as you all should know my computer died and I just recently got a new one, an ACER!!!!!! SO where do I began to update everyone. I guess I will start with the most exciting news today, I translated my first few pages from Spanish to English and I think I did a good job, not to mention that it was sooooooo much fun. This is something I could really enjoy, especially if I´m translating Christian things because then I´m edified at the same time, that´s straight up AWESOME!!!!!!!! Well other than that the past few months and the next few months willbe a time of transition for me in many ways. I really don´t want to go into details here on my blog but if you ask me I will more that willingly tell you. I think what I really want to talk about is the glory of God. Unfortunately I don´t have 100 pages to write all that I want but I just wanted to share with everyone how life transforming and miracolously faithful the Lord has been. Well maybe it´s better to say that I am just now starting to see this aspect of God´s charachter becasue he has been like this since the beginning and he will continue to be this way until the end, ALPHA and OMEGA Glory be to God!!!!!
Well since I got back from the states over Christmas, there has been a longing like no other in the very depths of my soul, a desire to completely throw everything away for Him, to live like John the Baptist, Daniel, Enoch, Abraham, Paul, Elijah and many more in the bible. I mean literally I want to give my life to the KINGDOM!!!! And that´s the thing, the kingdom. I was noticing a few days ago how Christ in the gospels talks about the KINGDOM. Salvation is beautiful and I thank God will all my heart for it, becasue it transformed my life. Yet what about the Kingdom. The Kingdom of God. ¨Hallowed be your name, your kingdom come your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.¨ Matthew 6:9-10 SO what is this Kingdom of God that Jesus himself said that we should be crying out for day and night (Like 18:7). Obviously it includes His justice, His love, His mercy, His judgment, etc. etc. But the part that blows my mind is that His Justice, His Love, His mercy, etc are quite the opposite of what we think to be right. Let´s look at our society. We are taught to be independent thinkers who question everything and to focus solely on ourselves so that we can be better, stronger, smarter, faster. And some of these qualities are okay yet, the problem is the root, completely self-sufficient and independent of God. Yet in his kingdom we see people like Paul who were completely dependent and looked at like fools all for the sake of the gospel and the glory of God so that His kingdom would come on earth (2 Corinthians 6:4-10). I mean, WOW!!!!! When you read that verse don´t you just want to jump up and say, GOD, Glory Be to Your Name!!!! At the same time when I read it it sounds so contradictory, and that´s what I love about God. There are so many things that seem down right STUPID in the eyes of man, even my own, yet they are more precious than Gold to the Father. Matthew 5:3-10, Matthew 10:34-39, Isaiah 55:1, Mark 10:29-31 and there are 100´s more. Sometimes I feel like we just look at these verses and take a good moral lesson out of them, including myself, but I don´t want to do that anymore. I truly want to live for the Kingdom of God, living as though I am a stranger to this world (Hebrews 11:8-10). One of my really close friends told me something profound. As he was studying the word he was realizing that it doesn´t matter where we are becasue JESUS IS THE WAY!!!!!! As long as our eyes are on Him we are going in the right direction, that´s kingdom living becasue what that lifestyle everything is in the air but there is no worry becasue you know that the Lord has you, like David in 1 Samuel.
I don´t know, to many this might seem like a random sentences and thoughts or even that I´m crazy, and that´s okay. I just know that the Lord is really sturring my heart about his Kingdom and his Bride becasue time is drawing short and I want to be ready and I want to know that I really knew the Father and the Son while I was here on earth. I guess my prayer is that the Lord will reveal to me more revelation about His kingdom and what it means to completely live for him.
So yeah that´s just a small part of what´s been in my mind since my last post. So many things have happened, but one day at a time. Hope I can get a chance to talk to you soon. If you have skype, lets skype it up one day.
HELLOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!! I know that it has been a century since my last post or even email to any of you, but as you all should know my computer died and I just recently got a new one, an ACER!!!!!! SO where do I began to update everyone. I guess I will start with the most exciting news today, I translated my first few pages from Spanish to English and I think I did a good job, not to mention that it was sooooooo much fun. This is something I could really enjoy, especially if I´m translating Christian things because then I´m edified at the same time, that´s straight up AWESOME!!!!!!!! Well other than that the past few months and the next few months willbe a time of transition for me in many ways. I really don´t want to go into details here on my blog but if you ask me I will more that willingly tell you. I think what I really want to talk about is the glory of God. Unfortunately I don´t have 100 pages to write all that I want but I just wanted to share with everyone how life transforming and miracolously faithful the Lord has been. Well maybe it´s better to say that I am just now starting to see this aspect of God´s charachter becasue he has been like this since the beginning and he will continue to be this way until the end, ALPHA and OMEGA Glory be to God!!!!!
Well since I got back from the states over Christmas, there has been a longing like no other in the very depths of my soul, a desire to completely throw everything away for Him, to live like John the Baptist, Daniel, Enoch, Abraham, Paul, Elijah and many more in the bible. I mean literally I want to give my life to the KINGDOM!!!! And that´s the thing, the kingdom. I was noticing a few days ago how Christ in the gospels talks about the KINGDOM. Salvation is beautiful and I thank God will all my heart for it, becasue it transformed my life. Yet what about the Kingdom. The Kingdom of God. ¨Hallowed be your name, your kingdom come your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.¨ Matthew 6:9-10 SO what is this Kingdom of God that Jesus himself said that we should be crying out for day and night (Like 18:7). Obviously it includes His justice, His love, His mercy, His judgment, etc. etc. But the part that blows my mind is that His Justice, His Love, His mercy, etc are quite the opposite of what we think to be right. Let´s look at our society. We are taught to be independent thinkers who question everything and to focus solely on ourselves so that we can be better, stronger, smarter, faster. And some of these qualities are okay yet, the problem is the root, completely self-sufficient and independent of God. Yet in his kingdom we see people like Paul who were completely dependent and looked at like fools all for the sake of the gospel and the glory of God so that His kingdom would come on earth (2 Corinthians 6:4-10). I mean, WOW!!!!! When you read that verse don´t you just want to jump up and say, GOD, Glory Be to Your Name!!!! At the same time when I read it it sounds so contradictory, and that´s what I love about God. There are so many things that seem down right STUPID in the eyes of man, even my own, yet they are more precious than Gold to the Father. Matthew 5:3-10, Matthew 10:34-39, Isaiah 55:1, Mark 10:29-31 and there are 100´s more. Sometimes I feel like we just look at these verses and take a good moral lesson out of them, including myself, but I don´t want to do that anymore. I truly want to live for the Kingdom of God, living as though I am a stranger to this world (Hebrews 11:8-10). One of my really close friends told me something profound. As he was studying the word he was realizing that it doesn´t matter where we are becasue JESUS IS THE WAY!!!!!! As long as our eyes are on Him we are going in the right direction, that´s kingdom living becasue what that lifestyle everything is in the air but there is no worry becasue you know that the Lord has you, like David in 1 Samuel.
I don´t know, to many this might seem like a random sentences and thoughts or even that I´m crazy, and that´s okay. I just know that the Lord is really sturring my heart about his Kingdom and his Bride becasue time is drawing short and I want to be ready and I want to know that I really knew the Father and the Son while I was here on earth. I guess my prayer is that the Lord will reveal to me more revelation about His kingdom and what it means to completely live for him.
So yeah that´s just a small part of what´s been in my mind since my last post. So many things have happened, but one day at a time. Hope I can get a chance to talk to you soon. If you have skype, lets skype it up one day.
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