God's Grace and Glory

It's amazing how you can start out one day and end up on the other side of the spectrum. Obviously from my previous entry you could tell that I was having a little melt down, just frustrated with many things and it came out through the breaking down of all of my technological products. Well I guess some good news is that I was right about the location of my cell phone and I got it today, which made me feel a lot better. Well any way on to the point of this entry.
I just realized how much of God's grace has been poured out on me lately, yes at times I complain and am fustrated becasue even though I have a great life it's not an easy one. Yet I am soooo blessed. Today I had the opportunity to praise God in the middle of a parking lot by myself. I was waiting for my friend to come and open up the house of prayer. I was just bawling, truly. Earlier that day before my class started the Lord was really talking to me through the scripture in Daniel 9, more specifically verse 18b "We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy." This verse just hit me sooo hard. It's sooo true. I don't ask the Lord for his help because I am righteous, for if I was I wouldn't need to ask the Lord, but I ask because of His mercy. It's his mercy that I am asking for Him to show me. His mercy so that I can get through the day, His mercy so that my mind is renewed every moment and His mercy so that I can walk this path he has chosen for me. Of course every moment of the day isn't amazing, but I pray that He might be merciful and shine his glory down upon me so that His glory would be reflected upon the earth through me. Yes I know that I am absolutely nothing but I know that out of his merciful nature I am seated in the heavenly realms with Christ Jesus, and I think how awesome is that. At the same time I think how silly am I that I can not have this revelation of the glory and mercy of God every moment of the day and instead it is a struggle. Literally a battle within my mind and in my heart to acknowledge the glory of the Lord in my life. I mean I see his hand in almost everything that I do and in the lives of those around me yet I miss the revelation of his glory shining through all of it. At times I catch it like a ray of lighting but it is quickly gone. I just want to be faithful and to see his glory and grace all the days of my life and not just for one moment. And maybe, just maybe I am selfish and I see the glory of God more in one day than people might see in a week, but for me that's not enough. And for this one thing I am okay about being selfish because I just want more and the more I get of Him the more I want. The blessings of yesterday are not enough for today. Show me your glory Lord I want to see your face and walk in your splendor.
Maybe this is all just me rambling and spewing out whats in my mind, but at the same time I hope it's a prayer to the Lord that he will hear and answer. I just want to be transformed and to be so different. I want to be a Daniel or John the Baptist or Elijah of this age, not for recognition (because that is the one thing I definitely don't want) but I want to be so dedicated to God like they were completely abandoned to Christ. What does that mean and what is the cost? Whatever it is I want to pay it, if that means that I get to see the heavens open up and see the glory of Christ Jesus.
Well I guess I will rap this up before it gets any longer, but I do want to say, thank you Christ for your Grace and Glory because without it I am nothing.