The Lord has given me life

Well I know it has been close to two weeks since my last post but I hope everyne will forgive me for the delay, I just didn't have the energy to write anything. Well I have two things that I want to talk about, one is a lesson god is teaching me and the other is an insert from my journal.

1. So basically lately I have been feeling really down or lonely because I miss my friends and my family, and I truly miss those one on one conversation I had with people that allowed me to express how I feel and what God is doing in my life. Without that life has been a little hard but the Lord has been faithful. I feel that since I have been here God has been tearing down walls of the house that I have built with my own hands so that I can become truly bare before him and come into the house that he has created for me. Today one of the ways he showed me this was by showing me that I have a lot to learn about love. I walked to CDO today and it takes me about 35/40mins to get there. When I arrive the doors are locked, I get instantly upset to the point that I am about to cry because I'm hot, tired, and all I wanted to do was pray. Someone was supposed to be there at this time for prayer. So i sat down and I was getting ready to read a little before I went back home only to here the sound of someone opening the door. It turns out someone was coming they were just running late and I felt so ashamed becasue how upset I got over something so little. I went into 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter and it says, LOVE is not easily angered, yet I was. Love covers all things and only by growing in my understanding of love will i truly become more like Christ and that means being patient and not allowing anger to rise up in me, I will trust the Lord and all is will fall in to place.

2. Journal Entry, Feb. 6, 2008 5pm at CDO
I laid my head down to sleep and when I woke I found you there. I found my heart lifted and a light burning. A sense of joy where sadness once lay. I could only say that it was you Lord that sang a song over my soul. You saw my sadness and gave me life for my ugly ashes. I thought I died but then I heard you call my name, "My Maya, My Love, My dear, come to me and walk by my side and hold on to my hand, give up not yet but hold on a little longer." Weak I am from the night, yet I feel the Lord hold my fragile body and heal my wounds. The darkness has faded and now comes forth the light. My voice can not express my thanksgiving to the fullest, but it is as though a spring flows from my heart.
"...behold the darkness has departed! I will be a shield maiden no longer, nor vie with the great riders, nor take joy only in the songs of the slaying. I will be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren. (LOTR, Eowyn)"
Thank you my Lord, for this I long so desperately, my soul breaths it when there are no words to say. Your hand has reached into the dark places and you have saved me from the darkness of my soul.

Well I hope that explains things a little if not and you want to know more shoot me an email. Les extrano (I miss you all).